Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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