Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
