love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
We need to rekindle our bromance
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
