Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I intend to get homeless drunk
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
