My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
