please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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