Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He passed out mid-signature
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
