I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
