you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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