Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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