Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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