Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
