He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
