My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Randomize
