we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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