yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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