come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
