Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize