My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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