hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
