what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
