Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
