My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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