Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
