There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
