dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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