We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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