Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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