Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I could make wine with my vomit
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
