i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
