Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you would pick up someone in the library
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
