do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
