I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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