I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
