So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
