hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
