So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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