we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
