You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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