can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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