Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
