A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
