And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My feet surprised me
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
