I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
