I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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