felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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