I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Randomize
