i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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