Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
