I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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