omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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