as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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