That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
